God Rest Ye Merry Heathens

I'm sitting here at my brother's house in Edmonton, pecking away at his beautiful iBook...Mac makes amazing things. We drove up to Edmonton yesterday on a sunny, warm winter day. The prairies were never prettier and it was great to hang out with Brian (and my new Eminem CD).

The flooring is down in our living room and dining room! Brian worked all day Thursday and when I came home, he had installed all the flooring. It looks so great and the house is really starting to come together. I stood there on Wednesday evening with the Christmas tree lights on and I almost started to cry. Our house looks like a home.

I went to the library last week and it was like I had died and gone to Chapters. Twelve bucks a year and I can take out 99 items at a time! I'm a quick and voracious reader but I don't think I could read 99 books in a three week loan period. At any rate, it's nice to know the possibility exists. There were about a dozen Mormon missionaries at the library, all checking their email and writing home. A whole flock of them were standing right next the evolutionary biology section and I couldn't help but giggle at the irony. Elder's Smith and Tanner leaning on the likes of Darwin and E.O. Wilson...it was too much to handle.

It's my Mum's birthday today! When she was a child she used to think she was a day older than Jesus.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays and spending time with friends and family. Have a wonderful Christmas and remember, keep the "mas" in Christmas.

The Election

As a "stay at home worker" I am able to listen to the radio all day long while I sand and paint. There have been times in my life where I have wished that I could be put into traction, just so I could lie there all day and listen to the CBC. This is better than traction. And what better timing? The lead up to a national election...

Now as a Calgarian, I am expected to vote Christian Heritage and if I insist on being a left leaning patsy, to at least vote Conservative. There is basically no hope in hell of anyone but the Conservatives winning any of the ridings in this city. Albertans talk a lot about being excluded and voiceless in the political system...they should try being a non-conservative in this province. When people ask me how I am voting and I tell them they always look a little shocked. I know they just wanted to hear their own rhetoric come back at them so as to confirm their views but that's not going to happen. "But what about Gomery?!" they usually sputter. To which I reply, "What about Gomery?"

It's not that I'm not aware of AdScam or that I don't care. It's just that to me, the ad scandal doesn't even come close to outweighing all the good the Liberals have done. I am proud of Canada and of the Liberal legacy. Twelve years of surplus, 40,000 new jobs, and $60 billion paid to the deficit. We stood up to the Americans and kept our troops (limited as they may be) home. We've given homosexuals rights that they deserve to have. We've worked hard on Kyoto, on crime and on international relief. It hasn't been perfect but it's pretty good. It all comes down to priorities. Social policy vs. fiscal policy. To me, social policy and practice take precedence.

I don't need the Liberal party to make me scared of the Conservatives. they can do that on their own. One look at their platform and I'm convinced. But that is exactly the problem...people in Alberta do agree with them. There is a chasm of values across this country and I don't know how any party will fix it. In the meantime, I'll just stand on my side of the great divide and hope "the others" don't throw me over.

Back Like Bacon...

I never thought a couple of weeks could feel like an eternity. I also never realized how pathetically reliant I am on the internet to keep me connected to...life. I've had this little ball of anxiety flip-flopping in my stomach since I "left" and it's only now starting to dull in intensity. I couldn't email my friends, I couldn't read my blogs and I couldn't access all the newsy bits of information I like to digest with my coffee. (Keeps me regular.) But last night, Brian set up our new modem and I am good to go...

I have been working full time on our new place and loving every minute of it. I never knew how much I enjoyed "house stuff". I've always enjoyed houses, as in staying in them and hiding from the outside world, but this is new. I've painted ceilings, ripped up flooring, sanded, stripped, primed and painted walls. I'm on a first name basis with the guys at Rona and I have a man hand. My right hand is bigger than my left and all swollen from the work it's been doing. It's got cuts, calluses, blisters and scrapes. Every morning I wake up, fashion it into what has become a very strong claw and threaten Brian with the man claw. I look at my new hand and I feel alive...visual evidence of hard work and projects completed.

It's good that my hands have been kept busy because my head's been busier than it needs to be. When I was younger I used to try and describe my "busy head" as a train going through at high speed and never stopping. Loud. Unsettling. It's gotten much better in the past few years and the trains have been few and far between. It's not back yet but I can hear it coming down the track. The busier I am, the softer the train. I am stuck in one of those places that probably seem necessary and even humorous when you look back on them at 60 but are devastating at 27. I have no idea what I want or who I want to be. I am so stuck that I have considered being a manicurist, a writer, a birth coach, a nurse and a contractor...all in the last few weeks. And the only way to sort through everything is to just keep thinking...oh goody. All aboard!