Chuffed

Proud sister brags again...

Mental Meanderings

I can feel myself changing these days. My attitudes about the world and my place in it are morphing into a more mature and maybe more realistic version of their former selves. I always used to imagine myself at the helm of a family of globetrotters. International schools and summer safaris, kids learning their way through the world while really living in it. Christmas cards sent from a different continent every year.

In recent months I have started to see the benefits of staying put. I have started to realize that having good friends who you never see isn't so great. That it's hard to build and deepen relationships from afar and that there is something very powerful about being a part of your community. Having roots, and childhood friends. Bumping into people when you go shopping, having family nearby and developing friendships that go through ups and downs instead of time zones.

This new way of looking at the world might not last for long but it has allowed me to imagine a new way of life, one that hey, I'm already living.

In sort of related news, we're off to Mexico in less than 4 weeks!

Why I Run...

I run because it makes me feel strong and I need that right now.
Because it often feels, about 10 minutes into my run, like I just woke up.
I sometimes look down at my feet and they look like someone else's - an athletes.
I breathe so deeply I can feel the air reaching into every dark corner of my lungs, like light.
Because I can feel myself getting faster and lighter and better.
Because my new running tights make me feel like a Ninja.
I can listen to music and think about whatever my mind wants to think about, with no interruptions.
I smile at people when I pass them and they smile back.
Because I get a beautiful tour of the river side and downtown.
I push myself to go on when I feel like I can't and that empowers me in my other life.
Because I've lost 10 pounds and built muscle.
Sometimes the light in the afternoon is so bright and beautiful it makes me want to cry.
Because I can.

The Devil that you know...

I finally got all my test results back and was relieved to learn that they were normal. Well, except for the diabetes. Intellectually I knew that the chances of anything else being the cause of the diabetes were slim but it was still nice to hear that there wasn't some huge growth on my pancreas. That's always good news.

I'm waiting to see an endocrinologist which could take as long as a couple of months. In the meantime I am on oral medication to lower my blood sugars. They are actually working pretty well and for the last few days have been fluctuating in and out of the normal range. I'm feeling good despite the thousand and one holes in my fingertips. I feel a great sense of loss sometimes when I think about things that I may not be able to do. Brian and I were planning to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in May '08 and now I'm not sure if that's realistic. I sometimes find myself thinking, "Ooh, I'll make a lasagna this weekend..." only to realize that lasagna is now a thing of the past. And so is pizza, and cake and cookies. And although I know food does not make life it does make it better.

Having said that, the only thing that makes life more enjoyable than good food is not being dead and so I'm willing to sacrifice.

A least I didn't ask them to donate blood...

This past Christmas I decided to start a new tradition in our house and do an anonymous Secret Santa. I chose a single woman at my office and a family that lives across the street from us. I have seen this family out in the yard and smiled and waved but have never actually met them. The family consists of two little kids, a boy and a girl, the parents and the Grandma. They are immigrants from Africa and the Grandma would walk past our house dressed in beautiful Tribal dresses and matching head wraps. She always looks so regal and kind. I thought they would be a great family to "treat" over the Holidays.

Every week leading up to Christmas I left a little gift on their doorstep or in their mailbox. Chocolates, cookies, candles. Each gift had a little tag attached, "From your Secret Santa". I got such a kick out of imagining what they were thinking and the nice feeling that would accompany a secret Christmas friend.

That is until I found out that the family are Jehovah's Witnesses. And don't celebrate Christmas. And probably think I'm the devil.

Bah-humbug.

New Year's Resolutions

Do the Splits.
Play Squash at least once a week.
Call my friends more and make them more of a priority.
Write more.
Be at work on time.
Sit straighter. Walk straighter.
Be more gentle.
Get a baby.
Don't get worked up about things that aren't really that important.
Control blood sugars.
Run 4-5 times a week.
Have people over more often.