To Paisley: Four Months Old

I can't believe four months have passed already. We are moving into summer now and I remember when I was still pregnant I would try to imagine this summer and what it would be like. What you would be like. Now we are here and it all seems to have come so quickly.


This month I celebrated my first Mother's Day. Both of my brothers drove from Edmonton to surprise our Mum and we had a great afternoon at our house. Mum was so surprised and touched and at one point I was sitting next to her on the couch with you in my arms and it felt so good to be both a daughter and a mother to my own little girl - like somehow life had worked out just the way it is supposed to.

This month also brought the final step in your Dad's academic career. His convocation was held on a Thursday afternoon and our family cheered him on as he stepped onto the stage to receive his law degree. You were very good, and even better after I nursed you under a stairwell in the lobby. Your Dad looked so handsome in his cap and gown and I couldn't stop from crying when I heard his name called - law school has been a long and difficult road at times and to be on the other end of it, holding you, made me feel so proud and happy.


Now that Dad is done school and doesn't start work until July he has been home with us a lot. The three of us hang out and go on walks and for picnics in the park. It's wonderful that we all get a chance to spend time together and I know how much he values this time with you. He likes to wear you around the house in the Baby Bjorn, which he calls his "man girdle" and plays the balancing game with you far more often than your poor mom can handle.

Up until this month your schedule had been a bit of a free for all. You went to bed in our room in your bassinet and then into our bed, and back into your bassinet and the time varied every night. We decided that having a routine would be better for you and better for us and we moved you into your crib in your own room! At first I was a bit sad not to hear your every movement and squeak at night but that sadness quickly dissipated when I realized I could get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. Now we feed you, put you in pyjamas and read you your books every night at about 10:30. We read you a story of your our choosing and then always finish with Good Night Moon. You really seem to enjoy this time with us and love looking at the pictures. This routine has worked so well and for the first time since you came home you have slept for 5-6 hours on a couple of occasions. You still get up at about 6am to play and we're working on that but mostly we just accommodate you and enjoy every minute of it.


You found your voice this month...and it was in Montana this whole time! We went down the US so that you could meet your cousins, Sophie and Eden. We all went for dinner to Applebees and all of a sudden, from your car seat, you started babbling away to us. You had talked to dad and I a bit before, mostly when you were getting your diaper changed, but never anything like this. You cooed away and smiled and giggled and squealed. We were all so entranced by your cuteness and I couldn't stop hitting your Dad on the arm and saying, "Did you hear that!?" Poor man couldn't eat his dinner he was getting whacked so much. The talking continued all the way home from Montana and hasn't stopped. It is so cute and it's nice to know that you want to talk to us, even if you do have a Montana accent.

On the way home from Montana we stopped in Raymond at Grandma Patt's place and you got a chance to meet your cousin Freya. She is only a few months older than you and lives in Vancouver. You two hit it off right away and although not much was said, we could all tell that you guys shared some meaningful connections.


You are getting much stronger and when we pick you up we no longer have to cradle your head to ensure it follows your neck. You produce more drool than I ever thought possible...I am convinced that at least a third of the milk you drink gets directly converted to drool. You can sit up in your Bumbo now and still love your swing more than anything. You have also learned how to navigate your thumb into your mouth consistently and oh boy, do you love to suck that thumb! The smacking slurping sounds that emerge from that tiny little mouth when you're trying to jam that fist in there can be quite loud and have interrupted many a conversation.

I never told anyone this, mostly because I knew it didn't make any sense, but I used to worry when you were smaller that you wouldn't be happy. Now that you are able to smile and express yourself better I have no doubts anymore that you are a very happy little person. You grin at us and squeal when we talk to you and nothing in the world could make me feel happier or more loved. You make me laugh everyday and no matter how tired I am or how drooly you are, holding you and kissing your little face is the best thing in my life. I'm so happy that we get to be happy together.


Love,
Mama