To Paisley: Three Months Old

This month has seemed so long to me. Not because it has been difficult, although it was at times, but mostly because there were just so many things packed into it. It has been an eventful time for our family and you have been the icing on the cake. Your Dad finished law school! I know that you will only know him as a grown up with a job but there was a time when he was a student and I was on maternity leave and we were young and poor but happy. This past month brought the busiest time of the semester for him - exams. About 6 weeks away from the beginning of exams your Dad will decree that he is now officially in LOCK DOWN. LOCK DOWN means I don't bug him for anything "extra" - this includes dinner dates, chores, errands or weekend excursions. This was my first LOCK DOWN period with a baby. Fortunately, it was also the last.

Shabba the wonder cat also left us this month. You probably won't remember the cat but trust me when I tell you that he was wonderful. Before you came along I used to carry all 18 pounds of him around like a baby. I would cradle him in my arms and cuddle with him on the bed when your Dad wasn't around. LOCK DOWN had it's upsides. Your Dad despised didn't always like Shabba. It wasn't him so much as the hair he left around the house. And the puking. But I digress...I loved him. He had been my cat for nine years and so it was very hard to decide to give him away. I posted him online and was contacted about a week later by a girl who wanted to take him. I took him over to her house and then I picked him up the next day. Let's just say it wasn't a good match. What this woman needed was a job, some parenting courses, a housekeeper, some anti-psychotics and a fitness regime but I can tell you that story when you're a little older. A few weeks after he came back another girl came to see him and it was love and first sight. I felt much better about this match and the rest is history. I still miss him and every once and awhile I will think I see him out of the corner of my eye. I must admit though that the house is cleaner and our marriage a little more stable.



You got your first shots this month. People had warned me that it could be quite upsetting for both the baby and the Mom but I didn't find it too bad. I didn't like seeing the needle go into your leg but since meningitis would be far more painful and problematic I soldiered on. You were so tough and didn't even cry very much. You were a little weepy for the next day or so and after that you were back to your wonderful self only now your B lymphocytes are producing some pretty cool antibodies.

You also went swimming for the first time this month. Because your Dad was in LOCK DOWN I took you to Edmonton with your Grandma and Grandpa Knox for a couple of days. We stayed at a nice hotel and visited with your uncles. The hotel had a pool and so we dressed you up in your little swimsuit and took you for a dip. You didn't really like it - I think the water was too cold. About two weeks later Dad and I took you again in Banff and you loved it! The water was warmer and you even went for a short swim in the hot tub. I turned the jets off because I thought you would either be afraid or worse, sucked into some kind of vortex created by unfortunately designed jets and we would never see you again. We were so proud of you and had a wonderful time taking turns with you in the pool. Eventually you fell asleep in a towel in Dad's arms and we carried you back upstairs.



The reason we were in Banff was for your Dad's Graduation Banquet. It was a very fancy affair held at the Banff Springs Hotel and we very cheekily decided to bring you with us. You were the only baby in the room (maybe even the whole complex) and I was curious/petrified to see how you would behave through the long evening of cocktails, speeches and dinner. Paisley, if ever you need to go out with your friends one night and for some silly reason I won't let you, just remind me of that night. Codeword: Banff Springs. You were the most perfectly behaved baby I have ever seen. You sat there in my arms in your party dress, wide-awake and smiling and you cooed your way into everyone's hearts. Not a cry or a whimper, not even a burp. I had to feed you in the bathroom with my formal dress hiked up over my head and even then you appeared unperturbed. At about 11:00 you fell asleep and I whisked you off silently thanking you for making the night so easy and your Dad so incredibly proud.



You have grown up so much this past month Paisley. You are talking more and even took your first bottle the other day. My Mum and I went out to a play (it was my first time out for any length of time) and Dad took you for the afternoon. You drank a whole bottle and although I felt a little guilty about giving you formula it was such a nice treat for me to get out and spend time with my Mum. You reached nearly 12 lbs this month and are looking less and less like the little newborn we brought home from the hospital. Some days I am anxious for the next step, the next sound or smile or milestone. Other days I miss my tiny little baby who fit in the crook of one arm and made little squeaking sounds in her sleep. What I try to do is appreciate each day as it comes and enjoy the little moments of our lives. Never before have the little moments been so little, or so big.

Love,
Mama