To Paisley: Five Months Old

Having a newborn is a sleepless but magical time. Your baby depends on you for everything and is helpless and delicate. Those nights spent holding you when you were only 7 lbs and barely able to focus on my face were quiet and enchanting. That little newborn is gone, and now, in her place I have the funniest, sweetest little baby I could have ever asked for. In the past month your personality has really started to shine though. You are happy and love to smile. You will sometimes start to laugh and I can't help but laugh along with you. Your tiny little shoulders start to shake and if you find something really amusing you may even treat us to a little snort. Sometimes, if something is too funny and you've laughed just a little too long you will start to cry. I have no idea where you get that from. It certainly wouldn't be from me. Nope.


This month saw your first flight! We flew on our first family trip out to Vancouver Island. Your Dad has been home from school/work for the past two months and it has been wonderful to spend so much time with him. We had such a great time on the Island and you were a joy to be with. It was definitely different traveling with a baby but like most things in life attitude plays a huge role. We did whatever it was we wanted to do and then we made accommodations for you. This trip saw many other firsts for you: your first dip in the ocean, the first time you had sand between your toes, your first IMAX experience (I don't know what was bigger the screen or your eyes!), and your first experience with male pattern balding. While we gained so much on our trip in terms of memories, you lost a lot of hair. If you want to find it when you're older just head to the Super 8 on Douglas Street in Victoria.


This month brought our first Walk to Cure Diabetes. You, me, Dad, my Mom and Dad and my brothers all raised money (nearly $1000!) to help fund research for Juvenile Diabetes. I have had type 1 diabetes for nearly two years now and I think about a cure at least once a week. Sometimes I think of myself and how much easier my life would be without the insulin and the injections and the blood testing but mostly I want to be sure that this never happens to you. We still don't know whether my illness has any genetic component and when you're older we may get you tested to find out, but right now I am doing what I can to keep you healthy. Breastfeeding you is one of the most important gifts I can give you for your health and so far I'm happy with how well that is going.


You've started grabbing onto things lately and can hold your toys and bring them to your mouth. Where, apparently, everything belongs. One day you were holding your little toy giraffe and I said to you, "Say Hi to Sophie the Giraffe" and you looked right up at me and said "Hi" on cue. Your Dad was right there and the two of us just looked at each other and started to laugh. You've got good timing my love. You are getting better at sitting up, although you still need help. You still aren't sleeping through the night although last week you slept from 11:00 until six in the morning. I woke up with a start and ran into your room (okay, I didn't run. I couldn't run. There were rocks where my boobs had been only hours before) to find you still asleep, like an angel. I would have kissed you if I wasn't afraid it would wake you. I tried to go back to bed but was so full of energy from my SEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP!! that your Dad growled at me to stop being so happy so early. No matter what time you wake me up though, I have to say that one of my favourite parts of my day is the big grin on your face when you see my head emerge over the top of your crib. I don't think anyone has ever been so happy to see me.


There are days when I miss the mewing and squeaking sounds you used to make when you were new, and the little newborn cry. But these sounds have been replaced with laughter - both yours and mine- and an exciting sense that you are really starting to explore and appreciate this world around you..and you are helping me to explore and appreciate this world too.

Love,
Mama