These are the roses that showed up at my house yesterday. Today is our 4th wedding anniversary and I can't help but feel reflective. Marriage is a complicated, and often difficult, but more often wonderful, thing that us humans enter into. I am not someone who believes that marriage is for everyone and neither am I someone who spent my younger years dreaming of my wedding. Having said that I still think it is the best thing I ever did. For me marriage is about friendship, patience, growth, support and the profound opportunity to be a witness to another person's life. It is about sharing all the good and all the bad with someone else so that when all is said and done, there is an account of your existence. Marriage is unique in that it is the only opportunity you will ever have to choose your family. Parents, siblings, children - they are all genetically predetermined, but a spouse is a choice and that makes it both special and terrifying.
I will admit that there have been days (the bulk of them occurring post-baby) where I have questioned marriage - my own and the practice more generally. It is hard sometimes and annoying to have to take someone else into consideration all the time. It would be nice to do what I wanted, when I wanted and think only of myself. There are days when I miss living on my own. But like anything in life, there are the other days. The mornings in bed where I am warm and cuddled and in love and the sun is shining in the window and I get to plan a day with my very best friend. The days when I feel frustrated and I have someone there to make me feel better. The knowledge that I have chosen, and been chosen, to be a part of something that lasts for the rest of our lives. Those days both outnumber and outweigh the days where I'm not as convinced. And for that I feel lucky.
Thank you Brian for being so funny, smart, patient, kind and generous. And for always putting the toilet seat down. I love you with all of my heart.
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