Don't even miss Dr. Phil...

I have a cubicle. I also have a computer, and a cork board, some filing cabinets and a really comfy desk chair. So far, so good.

I have been doing some really interesting work already and I'm feeling pretty excited about things. I have set up some interviews and worked on an ad campaign, done some web design and helped develop some creative material. I'm writing and branding and even did a SWOT analysis. I love it.

The people in my office are all really cool and nice. They're young and hip and go for drinks on Fridays. Welcome to Yuppieville...population? Whatever it was last week plus one.

Poetry?

MY CHILD HATES ME...

You betray me, I whisper in your ear
You ignore me, while I cry my silent tears

I spoil you and care for you when you are ill
But you forget, and once more my soul you kill

I do everything for you, I gave you my life
But your love for me is lost, overcome by strife

I know you are full of malevolence for me,
because I am not what you want me to be

Remember, if you need help I will be there
and no matter what happens, I always will care.

* Written by Me at Age 11. Was promptly referred to the counselor's Office.

UNTITLED

Do you weep Mr. Mulroney, do you weep?
Do you cry over us in your sleep?
Do you "boo", do you "hoo" as we are waiting
in queue, for the cheques, that are supposed
to come each week?
Do you weep Mr. Mulroney, do you weep?

* Age 13...where did I get this crap?

New and improved...

I've finally succumbed to the pressure that is Flickr and posted some pictures. Feel free to browse and leave comments...

Brian eats Crow...

barely.


I hope he chokes.

On the road again...

The past couple of days have been really incredible and I'm still on a high. We bought a car yesterday!! Its a VW Passat...which makes us official Calgary yuppies. It's really nice and although the colour (white) isn't exactly what I would have chosen it's already growing on me. We bought it from a really nice Chinese lady who is heading back to China this week and needed to sell it right away. That means we got a good deal and she sold her car. I felt really bad for her because she paid way too much for it...there's a reason car dealers get such a bad rep. Anyway, I think she was happy and we are definitely happy...and mobile!

Yesterday afternoon (about two hours after we bought the car)we headed out to Canmore in a snowstorm. Luckily the roads improved once we got into the mountains and everything was fine. We pulled up to our inn and fell in love almost as soon as we saw it. A Bear and Bison Inn sits on a hill in the shadow of the mountains surrounding the town. We went up to our room and couldn't believe how nice it was. It had a big fireplace in one corner and a jacuzzi tub in another. It had a huge four-poster bed with curtains on the side and a patio facing the mountains. It was absolutely stunning. We went out for a really nice dinner and then back to the Inn where we headed to the outdoor hot tub. It was just Brian and I and the snow was falling in big fat flakes. It was so relaxing and romantic. We drank champagne, chilled in the hot tub and just enjoyed each others company. The rest of the night also went well...

Camera pans from the bed to an open window...music crescendos...and cut.

This morning we got breakfast in bed and lazed about while the sun shone in the room. (Just so you know, I am fully aware this post sounds like a bad Harlequin - not that there are any good Harlequins- but I don't care. It's my anniversary and I can be as sappy as I like...) We walked around the town site and had a nice lunch. We also bought about $20 worth of fudge from a Dutch kid who got a real kick out of being a "professional fudge packer". Who knew a play on words could cross the language barrier so easily?

It was a perfect weekend and the perfect anniversary. On our way home we stopped at a Korean grocery store and were like two computer nerds at a Linux convention. We bought a bunch of stuff and the Koreans looked at us like we had perhaps stumbled into the wrong area of town. So we threw in some Korean and really left them baffled.

A new car, 50 lbs of fudge and a bucket of kimchi in the fridge. It's going to be a good weekend.

Quoth the Raven

It feels good to be right. Brian and I have had bets going on lately and so far I've won them all. First we had a disagreement that centered around how to make a bed. Brian insists that the top sheet should be tucked under the pillow so that when you grab it and pull back, your pillow is launched into the atmosphere like some down filled rocket ship. I, on the other hand, being well-versed in all things Martha, know how to properly make a bed. The top sheet should be folded down so that it can be pulled back without anything flying across the room. We made a bet to take a close look at how the bed in our hotel was made and lo and behold if I'm not owed a night out at the movies.

And...

Ravens DO TOO exist in North America. And that giant black bird tearing a large rodent to pieces on the side of the highway is NOT a crow but indeed, a raven.

Poe's Lost Verse...

First he laughed then started jeering, sure of self and never fearing
That he may find himself locked in lengthy combat once more
Nothing further did she utter, though her heart was all a flutter
In silence bread from certainty, her foot tapped on the car floor
"When will you see that I am right!?", her eyes still on the car floor
Quoth the husband, "Nevermore".

Family Pies

I have to be honest and tell you that my birthday kind of sucked. I was home alone for most of the day, with no car, little money and way too much time to think and contemplate the passing of time. Most of my birthdays in recent years have included some kind of party...some friends, some alcohol and enough of a celebration to remind me that I'll always be young at heart. This year was quiet and that made me feel a little old.

But, things did get a lot better the day after my birthday. Craig (the eldest of my two younger brothers) surprised me at my front door! I was so happy to see him and we had a great time hanging out. He completely annihilated Brian and I in Risk but otherwise it was great. We went out to stay with my parents on Saturday night and I took them for Korean food. That didn't go over so well. My Dad and brother liked it (despite my dad's remark that the noodles were like "boiled rubber bands") but my Mum didn't fancy the strange flavours and combinations. I of course loved it and it made me miss Korea all over again.

Yesterday we drove out to Bragg Creek in my Mum and Dad's new car (so nice!) to enjoy the beautiful weather. The mountains looked radiant and the sun was shining over the foothills. It was perfect. We stopped at a little bakery and had a coffee and some fresh baked pies. It was a nice little day with my family and it reminded me of why we moved back home. Pies and my family on a sunny day in the mountains. That's reason enough.

My life in 15ths...

February 15, 1990

Dear Diary,

My birthday!! I'm twelve years old! I love New Kids on the Block, there (sic) rad! I'm going to keep this diary for the rest of my life. In the year 3000 I hope someone finds this. Bye!

February 15th, 1992

I am now 14!! A whole 14! This weekend we went to Edmonton and I got to go to Red Lobster for dinner and I had 30 shrimp! I love shrimp! Mom took me birthday shopping at West Ed. and I got a plaid shirt, a belt, shoes and an Abercrombie and Fitch sweatshirt! Mom and I got a model makeover too...it was marvy. Right now there are these really cool shoes called Doc Martens and they have union jacks on the toes but they are way too expensive. So this weekend I took an old pair of black shoes and I spray painted them with union jacks (Dad helped me) and they look great!
I can't believe I am already 14. Sometimes I get scared when I think how fast everything is going and other times it feels really slow and I can't wait to get older. Sometimes I hate being a kid. One day I'm happy and the next day I want to cry. None of the guys like me...they all like Aysha. They think I am weird. Antoine told me the other day that he likes me but that I'm not pretty enough. Screw him! He likes Aysha too. I wonder if I will ever be cool or if anyone will ever get me. I always feel like I am living on another planet...people tell me that I'm too smart. Sometimes I believe them but sometimes I think it's just a nice way of saying "You're weird."

Last week in gym class Mr.Senft made us play the most sexist game!!! Get this! It was sort of like basketball but the guys and ONLY the guys had to play with one hand behind their back, also the boys only had one hoop they could score on and the girls had three! Because I resented the rules I played with one hand behind my back. The boys beat us anyway but that isn't the point! I was so mad afterwards, but some of the girls told me that I was making a big deal out of nothing. No wonder today's society is so sexist against women - the women stand for it!

Anyway, gotta go...happy birthday to me!!

Some introspection...

I will not be starting my 28th year as an unemployed woman. That's right folks, I got a job. And not just any old job...a great job! I have been offered the position of Communications Coordinator for the head office of the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Alberta, NWT and Nunavut. I'm so happy and relieved and excited. This position will be great since it combines my science background with my journalism degree and even though I'm "crossing over to the dark side" it's not really the dark side...it's the fluffy pink side that tries to keep Canadians from dying of heart disease. And I can feel good about that.

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday and this is making me feel a little more introspective than usual. This past year has been a big one for me. I lived in Korea, did a lot of traveling and got married. Moved back to Canada, bought a new house, learned how to do electrical wiring (!!) and am now embarking on a new career. That's a lot in one year! I can only hope that 28 is as good to me as 27 was...with a bit more money thrown in. And maybe a pet pig. A girl can dream...

Howling at the Moon

Last night we went on a night hike at Station Flats in Kananaskis country. It was incredible. Brian, his brother Dave and I left at about 9:00 and didn't get home until nearly 2:00 in the morning. The hike itself was short, only about 5 km, but it was beautiful. The moon was full and it was shining through the trees. It was fairly warm out, although it was a nice break when we stopped for hot chocolate. It was so nice to be out in the cool night air, with the coyotes yipping in the otherwise dead silence. Maybe living in Calgary isn't so bad after all.

Caroline's Life - January 28th, 1991

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile but I seriously lost you! So many things have happened since the last time I wrote. I went into junior high , got new friends, and new clothes, gone to at least 10 parties, got my hair cut short and I'm about to turn 13!! A teenager at last!! The school I switched to is Birchwood school and my favourite teacher is Mr. Jette. There are 36 kids in my class! And a lot of guys to choose from. But Mum won't let me date or let me invite boys to my party. Who ever said age 13 is a hard age was right! I wish I was cooler and people (guys) liked me but I'm too ugly for that, with my glasses and flat chest! I'm stuffing my shirt right now, 2 kleenex a day! I don't know what I'm going to do cuz next week we have a pool party! There are a lot of nice guys in the class like (exhaustive list of practically every guy in my class) NONE of the guys will ever like me more than a friend and even that is disputable. I'm so UGLY!! And I'm too hyper and weird. Mum and Dad bought a pool table - it's fun! Got to go, bye!

Agonizing...absolutely agonizing.

Brokeback Mountain

What can I say? I tried to reserve judgment about this movie and was afraid that after all the hype I would leave the theatre disappointed. I didn't. I left sad and frustrated and angry at people and the way they treat other people. I was awed by the performances and humbled by the scenery. It wasn't my favourite movie of all time but it was probably one of the best I've seen. Does that make sense? My favourite movies tend to be ones I would watch over and over again. I wouldn't watch this twice but I sure am glad I saw it. I hope the people who refuse to watch this movie because they "don't want to watch two guys kissing" challenge themselves and their beliefs and go to this film. They'll be better off for it.

Creatith the lightith...

I have conquered the unconquerable. This past weekend I rewired the electrical outlets and light switches on the main level. Now, the past few months have been a journey of self-discovery for me. I have gained skills I never thought I would have and a man hand that could bitch slap a walrus. I now feel comfortable in any aisle in Rona or Home Depot and could at least hazard a guess as to what most of their products do. I rest comfortably knowing that if the next great plague were to hit tomorrow and I was saved and forced to repopulate the earth, that I could build a nice little hut out of left over construction materials. And the interior would be creatively but not gaudily decorated.

But, the wiring? Wiring is guy stuff and I did it. I wasn't electrocuted, the lights work and the new rocker panels look lovely.

And on the seventh day she rested.

Maybe marriage is a mood stabilizer...

I think I'm seeping personality from my pores. (That would at least explain why my cat is always sniffing at me...that and a severe nipple fetish) As I get older I feel more normal every day. I feel less intelligent and I'm satisfied with that. I feel less kooky and that's not a problem either. I used to feel so full of emotion that just staring out the window for too long would make me cry and nights would be spent contemplating my own existence. I would become so overjoyed with the smell of fresh sheets that I would weep because I couldn't handle so much happiness all at once.

I used to hope that this would happen one day - that the waves of emotion that would carry me from black hole to brilliant high would even out and I could sail calm water into my thirties. Who knew it would actually happen? It sounds like a sad thing, a decent into mediocrity, but it doesn't feel sad. It feels wonderful. I'm happier existing in the middle.

Now don't get me wrong...when I do get angry I still want to rip my hair out and when I'm hurt I feel like there is a gaping, bloody hole in my chest. It all just happens less often.