Monday, September 03, 2007

Operation in sight

I'm pregnant! I'm actually going to be a Mom...still can't really get my head around the idea but I suppose I have plenty of time. Let's get the questions out of the way (in the order they have been most commonly asked):

1. Due March 1st but because I'm diabetic they'll definitely induce me early (or so they tell me) so we're looking at mid to late February.
2. We don't know what the sex is. Brian wants to find out but I don't so we have three weeks until our next ultrasound to fight it out.
3. Yes, we are incredibly excited.
4. Yes, it was hard to keep it a secret for so long. After having three previous miscarriages and the complicating factor of diabetes thrown into the mix we decided to not make anything public until we were 100% sure that this would be successful. After I passed 12 weeks and saw the ultrasound with the little heart beat and the baby kicking and jumping all over the place I knew this was very, very real.
5. We don't have any names yet. And we aren't really looking for suggestions.

So there we go. I really do think that the hardest part of this was not being able to write about it. I felt like a liar every time I signed into blogger and wrote about something that wasn't related to the animal growing in my abdomen. It was sort of all-consuming and to ignore it here seemed so wrong. Anyway, now we have it.

I was very nervous throughout and we found out very early (about 4-5 weeks) which meant we have a veeeerrrryyy long wait until we were in the clear. Every week felt like a month and since I was spotting throughout I honestly thought I was about to miscarry at least 3 or 4 times. It was a roller coaster of hopes and fear and disappointment and elation and I'm glad it's behind me. When we saw that 12 week ultrasound I kept it together long enough to thank the doctor and act like a normal person until we left the clinic. As soon as we were outside the sterile glass doors, I collapsed into Brian's arms and cried. I felt a sense of relief and wonder and like a thousand pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Inside, despite every week that passed, there was a part of me that never thought this would happen. But it did.

Here is a picture from that day:

Can you believe it!? Arms and a head and legs...all tiny and real and working? It truly is an amazing thing, and even if it happens a billion times a month across a million species, I still feel pretty lucky.


Chris O said...

Congratulations! I have no questions because you answered them all for me already. I am happy for you though.

Chuck McKinnon said...

Woohoo!! That's AWESOME! Congratulations to you and to Brian. One of these days we'll have to get together and actually meet you, Caroline. ;^)

H said...

Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!!! Did that convey my excitment for you guys. Caroline, you are going to be one incredible momma. What a blessed child growing in your tummy. Can't wait to hang out again one day and meet your little joy!