Thursday, May 06, 2004

Me again. So, that last post was so typically me I can hardly handle it. You know when I wrote it? October 2003. It's May, 2004. That's how long I left it between posts...

So what to do? Be honest, leave it standing or take advantage of my technological capacity for erasing the past and just start over? Change the date and pretend I just wrote it. That way I will look more responsible when the posts fall soon after each other. Responsible to whom you may ask? I don't know. I try not to ask too many questions about myself.

My goal is to start packing today. I am moving. I just don't know where I am moving yet. I might be going home to stay with my parents right now, I might go to Philadelphia to see Brian, I might go to Korea to teach English. Maybe I will go to the island of Tonga and sell pooka-shell necklaces on the beach.

I am embarking on a self-help project. I am usually opposed to these, partly because they sound so incredibly self-absorbed and egocentric and partly because they sound like a lot of work. I cannot shake the idea that self-improvement books and exercises are for froo-froo neurotics with too much time on their hands. But here I am, saying "self-improvement exercises", worrying whether this pursuit makes me a bad person and facing all the time in the world. I rest my case.

I need to stop being so hard on myself. And on other people. I need to learn how to relax and gain some perspective. I need to be happy and I want the people around me to be happy too. The 21st century's Ark of the Covenant...happiness. But Indiana Jones is hoped up on Prozac somewhere in Southern California.

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