Thursday, August 05, 2004

I feel like I am facing one of those big life decisions and I have been flip-flopping between two options for the last year or so. A part of me wants to travel and live an independent existence...my pen as my sword and all that jazz. I want to tell people's stories from around the globe. I want to eventually work for an international aid organization like Unicef and then the United Nations. I want to live in Australia and in Moscow and in Rome. I want to write books and take amazing photographs. The other part of me wants to be a Mom and have a nice life where the Globe arrives on my doorstep on Saturday morning and I meet my friends for coffee on Sundays. In that life I am working as a communications consultant (or something equally corporate) and I volunteer with the local shelter on weekends. I cook and I have a beautiful garden. I go on nice vacations and I have a wonderful family and at the end of the day I feel lucky but a little bored. At the same time, I know that I tend to romanticize the "Amazonian woman journalist" lifestyle and that I would often feel alone and empty. Or would I? Comfortable mediocrity or lonely ambition? This is the question that I find myself struggling with more than anything else. That and how the hell George Bush is the President of the Free World.

1 comment:

Suzanne said...

Oh, Caroline. I totally feel your pain. Coulda wrote that post myself, especially now that I'm staring down the barrel of a halcyon existence in rural BC. I have the feeling that the life of an Amazonian journalist, while exciting, is somewhat lonely. Learned that one when I tried to give my computer a hug and it didn't hug back.